How to Keep Loving Ourselves when We’ve Hurt Someone’s Heart.

How to Keep Loving Ourselves when We’ve Hurt Someone’s Heart.

Maitri. Loving-kindness.

It’s a practice that I have been learning more about and embracing over the past few weeks. And it’s something I’m turning to now, to help me accept something I am absolutely not loving about myself.

My Heart is Your Heart — But You Are the Hero in Your Story

My Heart is Your Heart — But You Are the Hero in Your Story

I felt you all week.

Your pain. Your anguish. Your heartbreak. Your loneliness. Your desperation. Your hopelessness. Your disconnection. Your love. Your need.

I felt it all.

Because my heart is your heart. I feel what you feel. And as I am here for you, I also know that I need to hold you from within the boundaries that my giant empath heart needs.

A Self-Care Prescription for When We Wake Up With an Emotional Hangover

A Self-Care Prescription for When We Wake Up With an Emotional Hangover

Anyone else wake up with an emotional hangover this morning?

And maybe a weird pain in your left eye that you can’t quite figure out?

I felt like I was in a fog for the second half of the day yesterday — my morning’s work woes quickly forgotten in their irrelevance and sudden unimportance in light of what was going on in our country.

11 Things I Adore About Men

11 Things I Adore About Men

A few years ago, I wrote an article about the things I love about men. It was at the height of the #MeToo movement and as a collective, we were fired up. We women were all speaking our truths…as individuals and as a group of women who were raising our hands and saying, “Fuck…me too.”

Her Muddled Guiding Lights: Love, Gratitude…& Disappointment

Her Muddled Guiding Lights: Love, Gratitude…& Disappointment

When she got home from Thanksgiving dinner with her kids, she grabbed her windbreaker and headed straight for the beach.

She had been waiting for this moment all day long and now it was finally here.

Her heart had been full of gratitude and love all morning…and now?

Now it just felt empty.

Sister, Give Yourself Permission: A Hot Mess Manifesto for Pursuing Pleasure

Sister, Give Yourself Permission: A Hot Mess Manifesto for Pursuing Pleasure

“What do you do for fun?”

I hate this question. Because I have absolutely not had enough fun over the last few years.

Life has been heavy, and I carried a lot of the heaviness in my heart, letting it weigh me down. Perhaps more than I should have. Or perhaps I should have just learned to put it down every now and then, take breaks from the darkness, and remind myself more of the light that still remained in the world.

Her Solitary Heart

Her Solitary Heart

Her solitary heart.

She is bigger in her capacity to love than most other hearts she knows.

She can love those who hurt her. Especially those hearts, because she can feel their pain, pulsating through their battle-weary bodies.

She can love those who wish her ill. Because she knows it comes from a place of their own hurt and they are still doing only the best that they can in this moment. In every moment.

Follow the Darkest Path, Sweet Soul — & Trust That It Will Lead You to New Beginnings

Follow the Darkest Path, Sweet Soul — & Trust That It Will Lead You to New Beginnings

She pulled on her boots and vest and wrapped a scarf around her neck, because she knew the chill in the air outside was more biting than his last words to her.

She stepped out her door and down the path and let the crispness of the autumn weather envelop her and carry her forward. Always forward.

Please Stay, Love — I’m Sorry I was Focused on My Heartbreak Instead of You

Please Stay, Love — I’m Sorry I was Focused on My Heartbreak Instead of You

Please stay.

I know I’ve been focused on my everyday heartbreak, but suddenly it doesn’t matter anymore.

You are all that matters.

You are all I want.

I want you in my life.

I need you in my life.

I couldn’t bear to lose you now.

Stop Letting Them Take Your Light, Love — & Step Into That Frickin’ Spotlight

Stop Letting Them Take Your Light, Love — & Step Into That Frickin’ Spotlight

I’m so sorry, sweet soul.

For so many things.

But mostly, I’m sorry you let him take your light.

And him.

And him.

I’m so sorry you let him make you feel less than.

How This Gorgeous Family Photo Helped Loosen the Grip That Sadness Had on My Heart

How This Gorgeous Family Photo Helped Loosen the Grip That Sadness Had on My Heart

My dear sweet friends, Kristin and José, recently went on their annual vacation to Mexico with their two teenage daughters. They go to the same incredible resort every year and always come back with fun stories and the most beautiful pictures.

This year, one of those pictures stopped me in my tracks and made me a little weepy.

I am Feeling the Feels for All of You Magic-Makers

I am Feeling the Feels for All of You Magic-Makers

Art. Is. Magic.

Whether it’s words on a page, a beautiful photo, or the most delicious birthday coconut cake, art has the power to change our world.

And I am crushing hard on all of you who are putting yourselves out there, making your magic every single day.

The Collateral Damage of My Heart & A $150 Bottle of Whiskey

The Collateral Damage of My Heart & A $150 Bottle of Whiskey

My heart has been questioning a lot lately.

Questioning what was real and what was just an illusion.

I’ve been divorced for almost two years and it makes me so sad that I question every single one of the 25 years of memories I shared with my ex-husband.

Take My Hand, Love — Walk with Me for a While

Take My Hand, Love — Walk with Me for a While

My love, I am not for the faint of heart.

I am not easy.

I want you to know this before you ever decide to knock on my door and ask to be invited in.

I desire — no, I require — a partner who will challenge me as much as I challenge them. And what a delicious challenge it will be. But know this…it will be a challenge.

You Are the Nectar I Want to Sip, Slowly and Deliberately

You Are the Nectar I Want to Sip, Slowly and Deliberately

Across the café table from you, I watch you with a nervousness I’ve not felt before. I opened the door and finally invited you in and now…now, I feel like I’m standing before you, naked and vulnerable.

Our beginning was slow and deliberate. And worth the anticipation.

Because now, I watch your eyes drink me in and I look away as they start to see through the armor, over the walls, and into my soft insides. I’m not one to look away usually, but your eyes are piercing and I am left feeling unprotected and more than a little shaky.

Letting Go & Leveling Up: Opening Our Hearts After a Year of Heartbreak

Letting Go & Leveling Up: Opening Our Hearts After a Year of Heartbreak

My heart is opening again.

I can feel it.

Even after a heavy-ish, wonky day.

One in which I was unsure and unsteady and unnerved.

But now…opening.

Even after these last few months.

Even after this last year.

And three years of darkness.

And a decade before that of processing and knowing and struggling and debating and denying and staying and slowly breaking through.

Soft, Whispering Heart — Show Me the Way & Help Me Trust You Again

Soft, Whispering Heart — Show Me the Way & Help Me Trust You Again

My heart, skipping precious beats all day.

Tapping in, I hold her and try to decipher her code.

Is she feeling the delicious anticipation of something new?

The lingering sadness that comes with letting go of the old?

Something more dark than I am ready to face again? Still.

Words Have Power, Beautiful Stranger — & I’m Taking Mine Back

Words Have Power, Beautiful Stranger — & I’m Taking Mine Back

Words. Have. Power.

We used to talk about that often. How powerful words are.

About how I try not to assign them too much power, because I know they mean more to me than most people. And because some words land differently with me than they do other people.

You were so, so careful to not make any promises from the very beginning. You just wanted to walk this journey together, for as long as we were supposed to. Just focusing on the present moment.